- The language we use for saying no is quite important. Saying I don't instead of I can't has been shown to be much more effective. - I don't conveys a lot of agency and allows you to take [[Accountability]] for your actions. It can allow you to go from a by me leader to a to me leader. ([[By Me, Through Me, As Me]]) --- "When you’re ready to say no, be specific about your language. Framing your response as ‘I don’t’, compared with ‘I can’t’, has been shown to be a more effective way to refuse a request. ‘I don’t’ transforms statements into an active choice, such as ‘I don’t eat meat’, or ‘I don’t do work tasks on the weekend’. Compare that framing with ‘I can’t eat meat’ or ‘I can’t do that assignment this weekend’, which convey less agency." - [Link](https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-stop-people-pleasing-by-learning-to-say-no)