- The previous way to give feedback was always to follow the sandwich method but everyone knows that that's more for the giver than the receiver. ------ "Start with, “Got a minute? Great. I need your help.” “It should be said in a way friendly,” says Baldridge. “Nothing about this is scary. And ‘I need your help’ is an international surrender of agenda. It’s a disarming way to get attention sincerely and genuinely. And you do need their help because their behavior is becoming problematic.” Next, say, “I noticed that {problem behavior goes here.} (Pause) I was wondering what’s causing this problem (pause), because it cannot continue. What do you suggest we do?” “The word ‘because’ is one of the 30 most persuasive words,” says Baldridge. “Everyone wants to know what comes after it.” Also, asking what the person suggests we do is powerful because people are persuaded most by their own words, says Baldridge. The approach is designed to be nonthreatening, compassionate, and open-minded. It finds positivity in the way you communicate, mange, and lead, especially when you need to correct a problematic behavior." - [Link](http://getpocket.com/explore/item/why-the-velvet-hammer-is-a-better-way-to-give-constructive-criticism)